Matt’s Journal

This morning whilst at work, I received a phone call from my mum telling me that the family dog Danny had died. Although it wasn’t a surprised that he had died, I think all members of the family were a lot more upset at him dying than we all thought we would be.

A good few years previous, Danny had started showing signs of illness but had always miraculously managed to come out the other side. Recently his health had been on a steady level but he was tired a lot and would love to wee on the kitchen floor during the night.

This morning Danny was very shaky and frail. Whilst on his walk he collapsed so heavily that his head hit a parked car. Coming into the house he was not able to stay on his feet, so my parents put him in the car and took him to the vets. Upon arrival the vet knew pretty instantly that Danny had suffered from a stroke and the only real option for my parents was to put him down.

My parents sucked it in and decided putting him down was the best option.

Danny lived to the ripe old age of 15 and was one of the most food orientated dogs you would ever meet, it will be weird to be in the house without him trying to snaffle some food.

It’s been a quiet week, both myself and Katie have been working and coming home just to slob out and relax into the evenings. The only bit of liveliness in the house has been the dog; Harry.

Harry is coming up for two years old and to use the term “loving” would be to use it loosely. Every night when I come in from work, he goes mental, he runs up and down the hallway, purposely skidding into the front door, only to career round the front room like a dog possessed. Add in some face liking and playful barking, you have ADHD dog in a nutshell.

Before I got home last night Katie had warned me of his foul smelling farts. Walking into the front room upon getting home, I could second this observation.

We knew why….the night before he had gone through a tied up bin bag, eaten 3 day old gone off noodles and various pieces of discarded pizza crust. His insides must have been sludgier than the 2008 Bog Snorkling Championships.

Low and behold…the 2008 Bog Snorkling Championships came to a well lit and warm living room in Essex. Harry in his infinite wisdom decided to unleash 5lb’s of pure digested noodles, pizza and chicken onto the carpet. Judging that Harry is classed as a small dog, a Rottweiler would be proud of the performance Harry had brought to show the world!

It stunk.

Fast forward 12 hours, what does he do? He headbutts Katie, right above her eye……..I’ll wring his neck when I see him!

I saw this advert on E4 last night, had me in stitches:

For those of you who love the song, it’s called “I’m a Man” by the Spencer Davis Group.