Matt’s Journal

Lonely :(

Posted by Matt under Angry, Blogging, Funny, Sport

At 3am on Monday morning, Katie and her parents departed for Gran Canaria. It’s a new experience for me being so far away from Katie, especially as the biggest distance we used to be from each other in the past was say 8 miles, when we both lived with our parents and we had to drive to each other’s houses.

I have been a right old house husband, I have been feeding the fish, feeding the dog, cleaning the kitchen, loading and unloading dishwashers, things not massively new to me but weird when it’s you on your own.

Luckily, yesterday was a lovely day. Awaking early, doing the above mentioned processes and getting showered and ready, I drove over to my friend Luke’s house who was down at his parents for the weekend getting stuff to take back up to his flat in London. For an hour we consulted various friends as to what we could do for the day, the eventual winner being golf.

Meeting up with my other friend Bacon, the three of us hit the course with our various irons and putters, taking in the midday heat. Carding a round of 47, I came in the eventual winner four shots ahead of both Bacon and Luke, Tiger Woods has nothing on me (see below!):

Coming back for some dinner and to watch the football, we put our feet up and waited for dinner to digest before playing some Wii Fit and Wii Sports. We tried making some funny videos, I will upload them later and you can see what you think.

The thing was that after these guys had left, I was alone in this big old house with just the dog for company, it was very surreal. It really makes you thankful for the time you spend with the one you love because when they are not there, you feel like half a person.

The biggest annoyance since Katie left has been the dog, four times in the night he barked at what he thought was an intruder, I knew otherwise, the house is locked down tighter than Fort Knox.

One day down, thirteen more until she returns

6V Battery Hack

Posted by Matt under Funny, Tech

Tired of paying £5 for a pack of 4 AA batteries? Why not hack a 6V battery and reap the rewards?!

The aftermath

Posted by Matt under Funny

The response myself and Katie received after news of our engagement has been nothing short of awesome, people have come from far and wide to congratulate me (as well as poke fun) whether it’s via text message or via the internet. Family members have sent cards, my father (whom I have havent spoken with in years) ignored my message and our respective families have been planning something, I can tell.

Here is some of the responses I have seen on Facebook:

“Congrats Buddy and obviously to the lucky (yet obviously patient) girl who tamed you! Going home this weekend so will give you a buzz then if you’re about!”
Tom

“lol! Not yet! matt will get married at least twice before i get married! and he’ll prob be on his 4 before you settled down! my moneys on martin!!! - matt if you read this only joking! ( but we did say that you will get married at least 5 time!!!)”
Richard

“Now then mate 2 fundamental questions…WHEN is the Stag Do, WHERE is the Stag Do!!!!!!!????????”
James

So as you can see, people love an engagement, whether it means they enjoy the Stag Do or they get to poke fun at me

The KnifeMan Commeth!

Posted by Matt under Funny

My girlfriend’s parents have been away since the Friday, with her being a little uncomfortable about being alone for so long and the fact it means I can spend a lot more time with her, I packed a bag and have joined her for the week.

Last night, we were in bed, having an early night as she was meant to be working an early at the hospital, Harry, her dog started going bananas. I had taken the mutt outside before bed for a play and a wee so a bark didnt mean he was bursting for a wee. Anyway, Harry is going nuts and we hear noises. We dismiss it as him seeing a fox, or a passing pedestrian.

Then we hear a voice.

Rising instantly, I put on a pair of sports shorts and walk to the landing. I can hear nothing except the dog running about with his small gait on the wooden flooring. My girlfriend slowly walks to the recently vacated parents bedroom and gets her father’s protection from intruders, a 10-inch bladed knife. I unbutton it from its sheath and walk downstairs gingerly.

Apon reaching the bottom, I switch on the downstairs hallway light………nothing.

The dog comes up to me and starts jumping at me.

On tiptoes, I tread lightly and look in the kitchen…….nothing. Turning quickly with knife held infront of me, I walk towards the utility room, push the door and check for intruders…..again, nothing.

The front door still have the security latch on it, nobody had come in that way. So if there is/was an intruder, the front room is going to be the entry point. Chatting loudly to the dog to try and scare off any would be attacker, I kick the door open…………

Nothing!

Checking the windows, they are all locked. I turn to the stairs, put the dog back on its bed and ascend. My girlfriend is visibly shaken, I gesture for her to get back into bed. We both get in and lay there listening, no sounds can be heard apart from the chiming of the grandfather clock. My heart is going two to the dozen with all the adrenaline pumping through me, I close my eyes and try to drift off. I suggest that if it wasnt an intruder, it could mean that the place is haunted (the girlfriend has long suggested that her late grandfather had been seen at the end of her bed one night). I get a prompt slap and a real go at for making her even more scared!

I eventually got to sleep, my girlfriend is still pretty worried and all the people laughed at work. I quite enjoyed being a have a go hero for two seconds